Welcome to the second official 'My friend can paint - Feature Artist' post for my latest blog series. I've finally taken advantage of my unique business name in a way that allows me to share inspiring artwork by fellow local artists - who can also paint, like they mean it! 

This month I've connected with another talented soul by the name of Bronte Naylor. Now while I have not yet had the actual pleasure of meeting Bronte in the flesh, a meeting just seems inevitable. In fact our artwork is currently spending some time together at Firefly Cafe in Toowoomba as we speak. 

 I've come into contact with so many artworks before I've ever met the creators behind them. Like a face, artwork has a tendency to stay in my mind clearer than names ever do. So this was the case for a lovely crossing of paths with Bronte's incredible work on a few separate occasions - both online and during visits to a few creative spaces in Toowoomba. 

I've been aware of and have recognised Bronte's edgy style long before I ever knew her name and thanks to a recommendation from our mutual artist pal Alice Weinthal this little conversation has been made possible. Alice was the first artist to be featured for this series...in case you missed her feature click here. 

Now I'm not entirely sure when I saw Bronte's work for the first time - I'm pretty sure it may have been shared on Facebook - BUT one thing I am certain of is that I was suitably impressed when I did see it. Bronte's work has an undeniably playful energy that exudes confidence and authenticity. What I particularly admire about Bronte's style is that she somehow manages to balance feminine and masculine elements in a single image, thus allowing her work to speak to a wider audience. I LOVE that she is capable of this as it's something I myself have been trying to master for years... and so far I have not been able to!

So I'm already impressed with Ms Naylor aka NOKE...let's now find out even more about this clever woman.

Over to you Bronte! Xx 

Who are you?
My name is Brontë Naylor - NOKE and I am 21 years of age. I'm currently living in luscious tropical Cairns  while I complete a Bachelors Degree in Creative industries majoring in Visual Art. I'm originally from T-bar town. 

I like enclosed shoes, eating with chopsticks, painting outside in the heat, glitter and swimming holes that you have to walk to get to. 

I dislike shopping centres. I find them overwhelming and under stimulating all at the same time and I dislike when pens that don’t keep up with your workflow. 

When did you first consider yourself to be an Artist?


I have typically invested more time in considering artwork rather than written text. As a result I think I developed ways of clearly understanding the visual language. Within these boundaries I would say I have evolved in the language of ‘art’ since primary school. These experiences I believe formulate the individuals ability for unique expression and creativity.

Though I think that in more recent times (the last 2 years) I have made a strong decision to choose my career as an artist and this has to take priority. Which often comes before other lifestyle choices. I rarely engage with people or activities that don’t evolve art as a form of language. This helps to remind and encourage me to stick with this commitment and clearly separates my direction from what it was before. 

What do you paint?
The concepts I find that serve me the best are variations of interactions I have had with systems or people. The biggest inspiration for me is when a think of a concept that is truly authentic. Even when I believe I have a concept a certain amount of acceptance later down the track needs to be consider when my views change on the subject due to experience and knowledge.

I have recently explored the sensitivities of humans in the relationship. Whether it be a friend, a enemy or lover (who is sometimes both). At the time this topic was very important and interesting to me. I usually spend 6 months of one body of work or investigating a topic. It is hard to remain focused on the final body of work when your opinion starts to change in the meantime. My attitude toward the end of the body of work was transparent and reflected my wavering belief in the self-devised concept. It was an interesting learning curve.

A topic I do truly believe in is questioning the difference in value between literal and lateral ways of processing particularly within the context of education. Why do the systems see more value in being able to fill out forms and adhere to criteria rather than individual expression?  Explored more broadly are themes of orthodox, education and value of the individual.

The comparison is achieved by the juxtaposition of abstract and realist forms of visual expression. Drawing from many styles that have come before to celebrate the postmodern nature of eclectic styles combining. Also sharing the philosophy of there not being a single all-encompassing solution to humanity’s problems. It would come from bits and pieces of previous movement and ideas. I generally paint about genuine acceptance and encouragement of there being many ways of learning and processing information that hold special in each person.

List 3 of your highlights so far?            

-        Being invited as a permanent Artist in Residence at Crate59

-        Painting a mural in full aerosol - publicly at Bunker Records

-        I have long admired Jugglers Art Space from afar and the work that comes out of there so it was a 'fan girl' moment for me to paint a large mural format work in their tunnel.

 

I wish to extend a MASSIVE THANKS to you Bronte for sharing this great insight into your work, your mind and ultimately your world. I also want to thank you for your time, you are clearly one passionate and dedicated artist that has devoted herself to staying focussed and very much in 'the zone'. Inspirational stuff indeed! I look forward to continuing to follow your work...and I really look forward to finally meeting you in person.

Show Bronte some love by sharing her work with your friends and maybe drop a comment here to pass on your encouragement for all that she has done, is doing and will continue to do.

As always thank you for reading,

Tamara x

The lead up to the event was smooth and the RAW team who were responsible for putting the Gold Coast event together - were nothing short of helpful. They replied to any queries or questions via email or over the phone and the responses were always prompt. There were regular reminders of important deadlines and encouraging emails to see how preparations were coming along. A few weeks before the event took place they even held a meeting in the showcase space to talk us through the layout and answer anymore questions we may have had. This was also another great opportunity to mingle and meet the other local creatives taking part, before the big night.

So with my photo-shoot and video interview out of the way by lunch time, I had time to calm my nerves (because I'm not a naturally confident public speaker and I can't say I like having my photo taken) and get on with the task of setting up my showcase and artwork.

I had planned my display methods in advance and decided to use a white peg board as the back drop for my pop up gallery. It allowed me to hang and move my works with ease and I felt it looked more professional then the construction fence that it was to hold onto.

I had decided that I wanted to be painting live at the event to hopefully draw the crowd over to my display and because I was working with paint I got to set up on the balcony of the Sound Lounge (the venue for the night in Currumbin). I ended up with more space as well, which was an absolute bonus! 

While the set up took longer than I anticipated I was fortunate enough to be there while other creatives were also setting up. I met the very lovely Kim of 'Jewellery by Kim' and her beautiful Daughter Kelsie and I had some great chats about giant budgies with the MC for this night the 'Ambassador of Smiles' Tommy Franklin. It was a really fun day and we were all getting excited for the night ahead. I'd also like to mention the lovely Amber Kingi, another talented Artist I was fortunate enough to meet and have great chats with on the night. Find her work on Instagram as well @Amber_Kingi

The crowds that came through the event exceeded the expected number of 300 - with up to 500 tickets being sold for the night. I enjoyed chatting with lots of kind folks who were interested in my style and wanted to know a bit about my story. A fair few sales were made of gift cards, prints and three of my original works. All in all in was a successful night.

Earlier this year I received an email informing me that I was eligible for nominations for the 3rd Annual RAW Awards for having taken part last year. A finalist for each category in every Australian host city would be selected and then one National winner for each category would be selected following that.

Voting for nominations were open for one week only, so I used my social media accounts to drum up some support and votes.

Along with the accolades I also won a $250 voucher for professional  printing and framing services at Gold Coast business 'Left Bank Gallery'. I'm going to use the winnings to get some more promotional materials made up for two very exciting projects coming up in the near future…stay tuned for those!

I would like to mention a special thanks to those supportive people who purchased tickets for the event and came along to show their support on the night. I'm equally if not more grateful to those who purchased multiple tickets despite being too far away to actually attend. Your kind gesture will always be treasured and I appreciate you all so much for it. Thanks Gayle, Owie, Helen, Jaana, Laura and Therese xoxoxoxox

My work is centred around self portraits. I would regularly draw self portraits during high school, perhaps as a self investigation and questioning during teenage years. It has always been a compulsive act for me to do so, like looking in a mirror that I can interact more deeply with. It is of no interest to me to achieve an exact physical replication of myself and it is very rare that I would title a work as a self portrait. 

During university I became interested in existentialist Jaques Lacan and his theory of “The Other” and this was the title of my last solo exhibition at 'No Comply Gallery' in Toowoomba.

My solo show “The Others” at No Comply Gallery is definitely a highlight for me. I feel it was the most solid body of work I have done so far and unexpected sales were actually very encouraging. Prior to that, my residency at TheGRID Hybrid Arts collective in Toowoomba allowed me to prepare two bodies of work for two exhibitions early last year, one being “Hall Pass” at TheGRID and the other “Linear” at Jugglers Art Space in Fortitude Valley. And of course being an artist for the inaugural First Coat Street Art festival, being given the opportunity to have my name on the same card as giants like Fintan Magee, Sofles, and Shida. 

To keep up with me check out my Facebook artist page https://www.facebook.com/AliceConstanceWeinthal and my website www.aliceconstanceweinthal.com 

Feel free to email me at alicecweinthal@gmail.com with any enquiries.

Thank you Alice for sharing great insight into your work.  

If you would like to find out more about Alice be sure to follow the links above or leave us a message of encouragement below.

As always thanks so much for reading.
Tamara x

In the spirit of sharing great art and promoting good people, I've long wanted to take advantage of my quirky title by sharing the work of other great Artist friends - who too, can paint! 

So as 'My friend can paint' reaches its' 4th Birthday next month, I've decided to celebrate by launching something new. Throughout this year my blog will be featuring interviews with different Artists. With the aim of sharing their amazing work, a little about their practice, their artistic journey and their wonderful selves. 

To start off (a little closer to home…and because it's my Birthday) I wanted to recap on the history of 'My friend can paint' to fill in all of my new likers, clients, as well as my ever supportive family and friends on the wonderful events and opportunities that have come to me since I started this life changing page 4 years ago. 

I often get asked where 'My friend can paint' came from and what exactly I intended it to mean. Back in 2010 when I rediscovered my paints and brushes (in a box under our house), my sister in law suggested I start a Facebook page devoted to my paintings for my family and friends to share and promote. Erin (my sister in law) sent me a link to a local jewellery designer that had done just that, and so after taking a little look through the page I decided to give it a go.

As always my approach towards most things in life is very much based on an 'all or nothing' attitude. If I was going to put myself out there, I was going to do it thoroughly and efficiently. So I pulled out all of my old photo albums and school portfolios and scanned old photographs of artworks from years gone by and then started cataloguing albums to load and showcase on Facebook. I wanted people to see the journey my work had taken, my evolving style and let's be honest I wanted to show off my skills. 

The hardest part of the initial process was coming up with a name for the page. I had considered just using my name 'Tamara Armstrong' followed by 'Artist' as I had seen many other Artists doing BUT I wanted something catchy, easier to remember and I wanted it to be reflective of what I essentially saw the page as being…something to be shared and appreciated by my friends.  I wrote down a few ideas that best represented this and then entered them into the search tool to see if they had been used already. I narrowed it down to 'My friend the Artist' and 'My friend can paint'. I decided the second one was less pretentious and also lent itself to future growth if I decided to share other things that I could do.

The process of putting this page together, with the ultimate intention of sharing it…with the world, was both exciting and motivational. Once I hit the 'publish' button and shared the link on my Facebook profile I didn't know exactly what to expect but at best I was hopeful it would get me a few artwork sales and maybe even a commission. 

What I didn't expect was the huge gain in confidence I was to receive. Friends, family, colleagues, acquaintances and friends of friends were liking my page, sharing it and leaving incredibly kind feedback about my artwork. It gave me this huge surge of pride and so my desire to keep on painting was further fuelled. 

The second notably exciting opportunity was a Mural painting commission from a hair salon owner in Stone's Corner 'Rhapsody Boheme Hair', who found me at the local markets on a Sunday morning. Again this was another unique, creative business and space that lead many new likers, clients and enquiries my way. It was also the first mural I had ever painted 100% on my own. The rewards continued to flow from these initial events. 

The third opportunity (that to me seemed unbelievable, at the time) was receiving an email from one of the curators of an exciting new gallery space in Toowoomba 'MADE - Creative Space' . They had spotted my work on FB and wanted to know if I would be interested in having a solo exhibition in their space. This offer by far exceeded my initial hopes for my page and what it would grant me. I had always thought that to have a solo exhibition in an established Art Gallery was a goal that I was nowhere near achieving. I was teaching full time and so I was only able to paint at night and on weekends. If I was going to have a solo exhibition, I wanted to have created a polished and cohesive body of work in a style that I was truly happy with. I expressed my concerns with the curator and she offered me a show booking for October so that I would have enough time to get a quality collection together. And I did! 

What I soon learnt from this experience (promoting my work via social media), was that I didn't have to sit back and wait for the opportunities to find me. In fact, if these incredible few could find me, then what else was out there waiting to be found. 

So I started looking…really looking. I kept my eyes open and my ears to the ground and even better than that, my ever supportive likers did too! 

To read the blog post Sarah wrote 'Really know (and trust life from there)' click here.

Thanks to the help of my likers, friends and family I managed to land other wonderful feature artist gigs at various cafe's, retail spaces and fashion boutiques across Brisbane, Toowoomba, the Sunshine Coast, Gold Coast and Byron Bay. I'm happy to report that this continues to happen even now and so I'm eternally grateful to these people for always keeping me in mind and sending call out information my way, as it crosses their paths. 

So I'd like to continue this beautiful cycle of sharing, supporting and recommending others for the greater good of ART- and perhaps to connect any of you reading this with other opportunities and/or like minded individuals. If anything, I hope you find inspiration from each Artist's experience. 

I've already got some incredibly talented Artists ready to roll out in the coming months, but if you would like to suggest a wonderful Artist you may know, please don't hesitate to email me their info.  I will certainly do my best to include as many shout outs for genuinely deserving people as I can. 

Tamara x

I’m certain that I am not alone when it comes to having a desire to do things differently. By that I mean, doing things my way.

Sure, I could put it down to being an Artist, or the fact that physically I am taller than the norm, and yeah perhaps I’m a slightly stubborn person when it comes to following social traditions.  What I do know is that I’ve always been this way.

When I was 8 it was my turn to have a Birthday party, so I asked if it could be themed ‘Purple’. Meaning everyone had to come dressed in purple clothing, the food and drink had to be purple and while I can’t recall asking for particular presents, I did end up with many presents that were in fact all purple. 

My long-term memory seems to be as strong as ever, and I have a lot of very clear memories from majority of my childhood (which I’m very grateful for). Sadly the same cannot be said for my short-term memory! I remember in pre-school and Grade 1 the Teachers were always encouraging us to define ourselves by what we enjoyed doing and what we favored in life (Teachers! I never thought at that point that I would have ever become one NOT EVER). 

Constant questions to commence some kind of life defining activity, such as:
What is your favorite food?

What is your favorite number?

What is your favorite animal?

What is your favorite colour?


My first dilemma with these questions was that I had absolutely no idea how to even fake answering them. Which yes, I remember doing a fair bit in primary school. Pretending I knew the answer, when in fact I often had no idea. I had been too busy daydreaming when the question was even asked…oops!

Also I didn’t think about this stuff at age 5. I didn’t have any older siblings that came home from school each day making me feel as though I needed to have this stuff sorted out (as any slightly older person can make you feel).  I do remember the strategy I used to answer these questions though and that was by simply pulling stuff from thin air, as fast as possible until they appeared satisfied. The teacher had no idea if it was true or not and neither did my friends, who I might add, seemed to be certain of their answers and able to justify it with actual proof!  The only people, who might have twigged that I was telling some sort of porky, would have been my parents because they probably knew that I didn’t really give a hoot about this kind of stuff.

While I couldn’t tell you what my answers were at the time, I do recall having time to think about these questions in more depth in the years that followed. I wanted to have things that I favored just as everyone else seemed to, but I wanted to be sure that they were things that I probably should favor. As to best fit in of course. 

The seed had been planted.

So with all of the free time that a child like myself had, I investigated a range of possible things to favor. I remember taking note of what my friends favored, what my parents favored, what my cousins favored, what the other kids in our street favored. Something became glaringly obvious. Most of my friends favored the same colours. If they were girls they were all declaring pink or purple to be their favorite colour and if they too were the same age as me, they seemed to favor our age as their favorite number! Was it that simple? This is how you answer those pesky questions at school! Ok I get it. Just go with the flow and life will be simple.

So by age 6 I was pretty sure pink was my favorite colour and yep 6 was my favorite number. I still wasn’t sold on a favorite food because I loved pretty much every kind of food I had tried up to that point, but Pizza and Lasagne were popular answers, so they would do for now.  As for the ‘my favorite animal’ question, I was able to decide based on the help of some stuffed toys I had been given. There seemed to be a lot of koalas on my toy shelf and come to think of it my Mum had made me a Koala cake when I was in preschool from the Women’s Weekly cake cookbook. So yep, another running theme appeared and I declared koalas to be my fave animal. Done! Talk about spoilt.

I now had answers to these four life-defining questions that I could be confident of and added to that I had some great talking points to rely on when meeting new kids. I could feel like a normal person, taking part in some normal kind of exchange and life would be easier (well for the time being anyway. Who knew that by age 9 you would be confronted with the “Are you a virgin?” question and boy would life suddenly become horrible if you didn’t answer that one right!?!).   

Ok time to get slightly closer to the point.

Things change, people grow, knowledge is attained and experiences broaden our ways of thinking. By the time I was 8, I hated that my bedroom furniture was bright pink, (despite telling my Mum that yes pink was in fact my favorite colour two short years before) and why did I have to own so many clothes that were pink? Was it just because I was only allowed one favorite colour? (OMG talk about first world problems…!!). I found myself needing more, wanting for something else, wanting for something different and for whatever reason, I decided that purple was a more appropriate colour for me to favor. Perhaps because hardly anyone else in my class liked purple, there were certain things that you could get for boys or girls that came in purple and it certainly wasn’t as outrageous as saying that my favorite colour was blue. Girls can’t like blue, that would have been too weird.

So I took purple and I ran with it, admittedly a little too hard. (Please note: Purple is no longer my favourite colour).

Social norms annoyed me before I even knew what that actually meant. I hated that it was expected we would single something out as our 'favorite', I hated that there were some questions that could only be answered a certain way, if you didn’t want an onslaught of further questions or worse...ridicule! Which lets face it, most kids don’t want. Enough with the questions! Why do we have to justify our choices when they are natural tendencies or merely things we just do without thinking about?

Why?

WHY?

Well there’s your answer. Another question!

 Did you know that life is short and time is precious? Yes!
Do you, like me think that life is fascinating and people are weird? Yes!
Come on, people are weird and we do and say such weird things everyday. Why? Because we are all different and different is sometimes considered weird.

But why?

Why can’t we all value the same thoughts? Why can’t we all want the same things? Well we just don’t and I think that’s great in itself.

Think about it. Question the stuff you really value and why you value it. Does it go against your grain? Is it unfulfilling? Do you want more from your choices?

 Personally I do and despite having hated questions as a 5 year old, I now LOVE them. Questions and ‘questioning’ helps us understand each other, our world and ourselves. There are no singular correct answers when it comes to individuals. Sure there are majorities and popular thoughts and some of those help us connect with one another, but differences can do that as well. Differences can bring so much more to the table than similarities. We can learn more, we can understand more, we can tolerate more and we can be better.

 This blog post has certainly eventuated from my excitement for another upcoming, thought provoking event. TedxSouthBank (formerly TedxSouthBankWomen) is happening on December 6 and this year’s theme is ‘Question Everything’. I’m fortunate enough to be taking part again this year in a volunteer capacity and I’m most looking forward to having real conversations with new people about inspiring topics. The high that I get from these types of interactions is exhilarating and it leaves me feeling inspired and creatively rejuvenated for months after. Yes I know I sound like I’m spruiking some sort of wonder drug now, but that’s how I’ve honestly felt after the last two events.  

I for one hate small talk, and I would rather stay silent than play that boring game. Having had this period of maternity leave it has been both easy and yet very difficult to avoid mind numbing social situations of awkward small talk. I find that I crave the energy that comes from being around dynamic people. People who are genuinely authentic in their whole approach to life are usually the ones that are doing things differently. Thinking differently challenges me to question new ideas and try new things and as an artist that’s what keeps my creativity fuelled.

I’m not certain and I have no way of proving this, but I think my life would be very different if I still collected averages before answering questions to guarantee the least amount of ridicule. 

Being thankful  brings about happiness. Makes me feel content, positive and joyous. Makes each day brighter. Awakens creativity. Perhaps it's stupid but being grateful also makes me feel guilty.

This blog started out as a deliberate attempt to draw connections between my BIG experiences in the last few years and my gratitude for having had them. Then it trailed off on way too many tangents, such as the results of my gratitude, my love hate relationship with time wasting and my constant desire to communicate and relieve my brain from bubbling, often over-flowing thoughts. And who knows what else, but ultimately it lead me to feel guilty. Something that happens more often than I want it to.
 Read on if you're up for it and be warned…I wrote this at 3am on a Monday morning! An attempt to help me go back to sleep. It didn't work for me, but it could very well work for you. 

When I started jotting down words to accompany the images of my artwork for my first few blog posts, I couldn't stop the connections from forming (in my mind. To EVERYTHING) and soon the words flowed more freely then the images did. I often find myself having to stop thinking (haha not possible) and typing and just post pictures...less words (because I consider it uninteresting mind rambling) because I'm an Artist and surely everyone wants more pics of my Art and less of my mind rambles! 
But it helps me. And I'm grateful for the release of thoughts. 

If I don't jot them down from time to time the following things end up happening:
- I can't sleep. I can't get back to sleep so I end up thinking even more and then writing notes in my phone.

- I spend way too long in the shower thinking about EVERYTHING. Which wastes our precious tank water.

- I feel dissatisfied after conversing with people. This is most annoying. It's as though I haven't had long enough to talk, vent, communicate how I really am and I'm left feeling frustrated, anxious, misunderstood and super chatty at bedtime, when Matt needs me to just stop talking, so that he can sleep. Which he seems to have no problems doing!

- I daydream when I should be focussed on the daily tasks at hand (driving, cleaning up, organising my STUFF, marking student essays, listening to Matt, cooking food...you get the idea). Sometimes I miss important things and basically lose time. Which I hate doing and consequently end up feeling guilty about.

- I end up writing emails and text messages that are WAY TOO LONG and basically unnecessary. Again this wastes more of my precious time and probably my friend's and colleague's as well. How annoying is that?

I have a love hate relationship with wasting time. But that's a whole other blog post I probably need to write, preferably before all of the above is repeated. Arghhhh!! There I go again...Wasting time!

After I attended TEDxSBW in 2012, I left feeling 'empowered', 'grateful', 'lucky' but also 'guilty'. I've always felt these last two rather strongly. Lucky to be born into a loving family. A life with opportunity. Having healthy and tall body and a pretty enough face. A natural flair for creativity and sports. The list goes on. I felt guilty for all of these things, which are actually (in fact) out of my control. So I have always aimed to take control of the stuff that doesn't just happen, but rather has to be worked at through choice and effort.

What do I want for myself that simply won't land in my lap?
What should I do with my time?
How do I want to be remembered?
What will I regret not having tried?
Who do I want to be for those that love me?

Running through this little list of questions (often) makes me feel less guilty and more entitled.

When I was on LSL Last year, I felt 'too lucky' so I looked for ways to make it about others and not just myself. 
Teacher syndrome? Guilt factor? Procrastination? My Mother's Daughter? I don't know the exact answer. But it is something I find hard to shake. This constant inner voice that says 'Why should I be so lucky?' often terrifies me! 

Every few years ( particularly when things are going ridiculously well) I start to fear unexpected 'bad things'. It's as though they must be due to happen. Any minute now. When I would least expect it. This (probably) stems from having lost too many loved ones (tragically and unexpectedly and too close together) from the age of 8-20, as well as family and relationship break downs and in recent years deteriorating health. It's hard not to cherish life and the privilege of actually getting older, when you've said goodbye to too many lives and experienced too many days with the puffiest eyes imaginable (or as my friend Amanda says "having a case of the frog eyes") from shedding too many tears, for too many hours, instead of sleeping. But I've got to shake this fear. It hinders true happiness and I don't want to believe in that theory (what's it called?) that if two areas of your life are going well, then the third must be suffering. What a horrible way to think.

When I was pregnant I was moody. Whingey. Negative. It made me feel ungrateful, which led to feelings of guilt which lead to a lack of energy, lack of smiling and generally feeling miserable. Matt suggested I focus on  the positives and set me up with 'Happy Rambles', an online daily diary that records 3 positive things that happened each day. It helped, a bit. 
Until this little person arrived, I honestly didn't feel at all myself in the previous 9 months. My energy and optimism came flooding back once she was separate from me physically and of course the overwhelming love you end up feeling (daily) further fuelled my everything. And yet staring at this little face still makes me feel guilty! 
Why should I be so lucky? 
The cycle I previously mentioned continues. Gratefulness followed by guilt.

The grateful factor aids in this desire to be better, to do more with my gifts. My time. My life. It's Another timely reminder of the shortness of life and the need to focus on what best serves me, makes me happier and in return makes me a better person to know and be around. Guilt drives this and so in some ways it's a good thing for me. I just need to be mindful of my guilt and to remember when to own it.

I've made the past mistake (too many times) of letting others inflict guilt upon me (unfairly) for their own selfish gain and often as a result of their own personal insecurities. I don't tolerate this form of guilt anymore and since turning 30 I now feel stronger in actively cutting off from situations and people who attempt to inflict it upon me. It doesn't serve me and so I walk away (as peacefully as possible). But if I'm honest I still care way too much about what others think of me. I hate that about myself. I want to care less and I think I do care less. Less than I used to.

I do acknowledge that I have come a long way. I've shaved my head bald and held it higher than ever before. I've chased my dreams and cut back from a stable career in teaching. I've finally taken that big life changing leap and become a parent and I do believe I can still put myself first (just enough) to do what ultimately makes me happy. Which is to PAINT and make ART...that is just for me. I'm feeling in control of the 'parent-guilt' thing so far, which totally surprises me, but we've got a long road ahead of us to be further challenged and surprised. But I'm grateful for that! I'm always grateful and we will continue to make our own rules.

Being grateful for all of the things I've been given and the opportunities afforded to me, helps me see the world in all of it's grandeur. Colours are brighter, energy is undeniable, life is beautiful (no really, It is!) and I want to celebrate it through my art, my attitude and my actions.

I really hope that remaining grateful in life, each and everyday will outweigh feeling guilty. This is just one of my many big life hurdles that I personally intend on overcoming. Preferably before I turn 40. I do acknowledged that we need some guilt in our lives to remain humble and grounded, the challenge is recognising which guilt is 'effective' and which guilt is 'detrimental'. There's a huge difference.

Well we are just about halfway through 2014 and I have almost caught my breath! 
The first few months of this year saw me taking up residency in the 'slow lane' with pregnancy making itself well and truly known to all of my usual energy reserves. I certainly cannot say that those 9 months were blissful or that I am a fan of being pregnant, BUT yes it was all worthwhile and we happily welcomed our first child in March. I can honestly say that once she was here my energy levels, motivation and MOJO came right on back. Sleep deprivation aside!

After taking 6 months off from my full time job of high school teaching early last year, I was energised, inspired and determined to make the most of my precious 'me' time. I had my home studio set up in the third bedroom of our little Mountain abode and my 'to do' list looked a little like this:

1. Give back to OTHERS 
Declared my head to be shaved and in doing so raised $10,600 for the Leukaemia Foundation along with proceeds from organising the Group Exhibition and main EMPOWERMENT event.

2. Give back to MYSELF 
After shaving said head and committing to mammoth fundraising efforts, by April I found myself feeling like an unfit 90 year old woman. I could barely walk from hip and back pain, I was constantly needing more and more sleep, suffering from migraines, emotional melt downs, panic attacks and just running completely on empty. I had every blood test under the sun only to find out there was nothing out of the ordinary and so my Dr suspected Fibromyalgia, an autoimmune disease (that may have hit my nervous system after contracting Ross River Fever 6 years ago) with no known treatment or cure. GREAT! I had promised myself that I would put my health first during this time off and so I looked to my diet. I Quit Sugar at the start of May...as an experiment. By July my pain gradually disappeared, my energy levels soared, my mind cleared, I lost 12kg and I 'fell' pregnant.

3. Stay motivated 
I came up with monthly challenges such as 'Birds of May', 'MAKE-DO-BE' month to create new work each and every day. Happy to say I didn't skip a single day and in doing so my ideas grew bigger and my confidence did as well.

4. Get my website PIMPED 
CHECK....successfully happened thanks to the genius vision by Pixelle Graphic Design. 

5. Have another solo exhibition 
CHECK...Feature exhibition 'Insight' at D'Bar Gallery, Coolangatta in May.

6. Get my MAKE DO BE illustrations published
Did not happen! Despite looking into a few options for publishing, it is still on the back burner.

7. Get my Art Studio designed and built
Did not happen! Boo hoo.

There were many other small and large  goals I had set for myself and some were achieved while others are...well...still waiting to happen! 

I was annoyed at myself for not making them all happen, and most upset with myself for letting my dream Art Studio slip to the end of the long growing list. I had been saving my pennies for so long to make this goal come to life and yet I just couldn't quite get it to happen. I ran out of time and I temporarily had my MOJO  shelved. I reminded myself I was after all growing a life...but I just don't like to sit idle, waiting and this wasn't good enough. I worried that having a baby would mean that I could no longer chase my dreams. What a stupid thought. By having this thought though, I was even more determined to MAKE IT HAPPEN!

So when life was about to change (dramatically) with this little one's arrival, I put everything else on hold and focussed on getting this studio here...preferably before she did. This all happened thanks to my Husband Matt. I do think he knew his life would greatly improve as well if he kept his moody, pregnant wife happy. So he took on the role of Project Manager...and he did it like a BOSS!

So my Dream Art Studio is here! There are a few small finishes to be added before I dust off the champagne glasses  and send out the Grand Opening invites...but it is ACTUALLY a real physical thing.

Here are some progress pics of the MFCP headquarters and its journey so far.

I would like to start this blog post by asking you to consider what a ‘Good Life’ in fact means to you?

I want you to think about this first and foremost before you read this blog post, and throughout the post (should you make it to the end without losing interest) so that I don’t annoy you too much or come across as a giver of UNWANTED ADVICE….ick!

SOOOOOOOOO if you just made it here and are already thinking twice about reading on… then perhaps don’t. Or be brave and read on. Or don’t. You have a choice, in fact we all do. So always remember to make your decisions wisely.

For me Life is pretty bloody GOOD at the moment! Not just ‘Good enough’, I’m talking ‘GOOD-GOOD’.  In fact I’m finding it near impossible not to smile, feel happy, blessed and grateful.  Our gorgeous baby girl Thea arrived on March 20, my dream Art Studio commenced construction the very next day and was completed two weeks later. I had my Husband Matt at home with us for 32 whole days and the weather has been incredible. So good!

I have a few gripes to make about being a new Mum, but these genuinely all stem from outside of myself…ahem… ‘Negative comments’ from others about kissing sleep, fun and all types of personal indulgence good-bye and…well…. ahem…’UNWANTED ADVICE’ about child rearing in general from all kinds of strangers. That’s the thing about UNWANTED advice!!! Don’t get me started.

Another thing that really pings me off (yes I said ping) and has for a really long time now, are the ‘Oh you are so lucky’ comments in reference to me seemingly having stumbled across all of this ‘good fortune’ and ‘circumstance’ (PLEASE detect sarcasm). 

Now don’t get me wrong here, I’m not for one second suggesting that I’m not lucky, because yes I am very lucky! Lucky to have had this beautiful baby girl and even more ‘lucky’ to have found a partner who I can depend on for endless support and who is actively and ably raising this child with me each and everyday, in equal partnership, without having to work distances away. Mind you, I would like to point out that he (being Matt) wasn’t gifted to me! We chose each other and so far we have both stuck with that decision.  

I am also exceptionally lucky to have been genetically gifted my artistic ability. Yes I’ve worked at improving my skills and I have sought further knowledge and higher Education to keep my creativity alive and thriving, but certainly and undeniably this creative ‘genetic gift’ runs in my family, so yeah that makes me lucky. What I would, however, like to draw attention to is the fact that all of us are essentially lucky, in a number of different ways and often we are far more lucky than one thousand million other people that walk this Earth (if they in fact have able legs to do so).

No single person chooses the parents that created them, the Country they were born into or the living conditions they find themselves surrounded by. So yeah, if like me you have a roof over your head, have regularly experienced the feeling of love, have access to Education, Employment, Healthcare, clean drinking water and food each and every day…count yourself lucky too!

One can argue ‘Experience’ plays a vital part in the equation of a ‘Good Life’ and it certainly sets a number of us apart from the pack. I would argue however, that experiences are not always sought after and in fact some are very hard to get over. Some of us have great experiences, some of us have disappointing experiences and too many of us have tragically horrible experiences. In many ways the latter comes down to being in the wrong place, at the wrong time often with the WRONG people (again these are factors that are out of our control)…this is what we actually refer to as UNLUCKY and UNFAIR! It is important though to remember that no good comes from judging others for not having had the same experience as us. Good or Bad. So leave envy, resentment and arrogance out of it. 

A wise friend of mine shared this thought provoking meme on Facebook just a few days ago and it really left a long lingering thought in my head (long lingering enough I finally decided to write a new blog post…yes long overdue I know).

If we are all told that the recipe to achieving rewards, good results and essentially a ‘Good enough’ life comes down to HARD WORK, then how do you possibly live with the guilt of knowing that potentially more than half the World’s population, are plain and simply being hugely gipped?!?! I for one thought of myself as a hard-worker until I saw this. I thought, “Yep, I’ve worked hard and I deserve my paid holidays, my comfortable and clean home, my nice, semi fashionable clothing”.  But you know what, it’s safe to say (hand over heart) that I’ve never NEVER worked as hard as these women do each and every day to merely survive. NOPE not a single day of my life have I ‘worked’ this hard, not even for some kind of financial incentive. So where is their LUCK? Where is their reward of ‘down time’ and a ‘good enough’ life?

So back to this discussion of LUCK…. are you feeling lucky yet?? Well I sure hope you do. Luck is out of our control, so don’t go chasing it (well you can if you want, who am I to give unwanted advice. Go on then keep buying your weekly lottery ticket. You’ve got to be in it to win it right?!?). 

What I really want to draw attention to; is the importance of being aware of the opportunities we have available to us as the lucky ones.  They are seriously everywhere and you can even create your own!! They are the things you can take a hold of and use to your advantage. Opportunities are the key to making your own luck, feeling happy and being well on on your way to a ‘Great Life’. For many there are limited opportunities available and for many more there are zilch. If anything, make the most of the fact that you have access to a butt load more opportunities than some of the World’s population. Having access to the Internet alone to read this incredibly long-winded, and potentially uninteresting blog post makes you lucky. Those without access are missing out on this particular opportunity ;) 

I hope there is a point coming across from all of this, I really really hope so, because otherwise I have just wasted the precious hours of time I have between feeding my baby and nursing her back to sleep…NOOOO!!! This is a personal luxury I choose for myself…as a new Mum. Actually writing this blog post. One of many I plan on taking in the days, weeks, months and years ahead because I believe there are still great personal opportunities to be had EVEN after having had a child. Again this is not luck, this is CHOICE…and undeniably this is possible by asking for help when I want to take some ‘Me time’ and preferably before I ever desperately need an out! I will admit I am LUCKY here because combined, Matt and I have four sets of parents, that all live within close proximity to answer our call for help…well close enough and yet far enough away to not drop in unannounced, yes we may have intentionally chosen to live on a Mountain for this very reason! They have also been very forthcoming with offers of help and we are lucky to have them all.   

It is true for most of us that we have the choice to have children, or not to, and yes babies and children come with their added challenges BUT you have the choice to view this time as a ‘crisis phase’ or as a ‘fleeting phase’ in your life (that will come and go so quickly you will soon be considered an ‘Empty Nester’ and wondering what to do now that your children only call you once a fortnight…if you’re lucky). In the five and a half weeks since we officially became parents (that still feels weird to say) we have learnt to carry on, cherish it, stay positive, make our own rules, trust each other, trust ourselves, trust our decisions, trust our child, RELAX and trust our instincts! Baby Thea has certainly made the transition pretty smooth for us so far with her chilled ways, solid sleeping and her undeniably cute self. Is that LUCK? Maybe, PROBABLY! Whatever it is, I for one am grateful. I also realise there are many more days of Parenthood to come for us, with many more hurdles and obstacles to trek through so please do not assume that I'm thinking I know it all or that it's going to always be manageable. I'm NOT I promise you. that's Life though...it's always unpredictable. 

You can design your own life BECAUSE if you are reading this then you have access to more resources than those African women working their butts off to provide food and water to their children. If they had a spare few dollars and time I highly doubt they would be seeking out an Internet café to check on their Facebook notifications…again count yourself lucky that you can do this often, in fact more than once a day and it will come without irreparable consequence.  

So here it is! The end of my blog post…thank goodness!!!!
My equation to a ‘Good life’ looks like this:

Be thankful for all that I have, all that I can do and all that I am  
+ SMILE
+ Share what I know and can do with others  
+ Give back
+ Celebrate aging…it’s a privilege
+ Give my heart and my time to the right people  
+ Remember that this LUCKY life is not a race or a competition
+ Make the most of my down time…turn that TV off!
+ Look after my body
+ Feed my mind
+ Seek knowledge
+ Spend wisely
+ Make plans and see them through
+ Keep my word
+ LOVE + ACCEPT + CHERISH
+ Basically I promise not to take a single day of my LUCKY life for granted.

If you approach each year in quarters perhaps it could be easier to write brief, achievable to do lists, lay down plans and tick off each and every goal you set....or perhaps you are a teacher and you refer to the year in weeks and terms!

I return to teaching next week for the start of Semester 2, hitting the ground running with my Year 12s who are almost halfway through their final body of work.  Plus two lessons a week with some Year 8s that I am yet to meet...potentially the scariest part! 

I am only returning to two classes, three days a week and more importantly I am returning to PEOPLE CONTACT!

I have been a teacher of Visual Art since I was 21 years old and it has been an absolute joy and privilege to have met and worked with (potentially) 1000+ young people in a variety of different settings from a wide range of backgrounds, abilities and cultures. For my 21-year-old self the best part of becoming a teacher was being an ART teacher. That to me meant spending time in an art room, making art everyday, helping others, watching their work progress, having fun and sharing what I know and love to ultimately spread an infectious love of Art further. Of course with that comes planning, assessment, marking, deadlines, paper trails and reporting on EVERYTHING that your students have completed...or failed to complete AND should they have failed you of course map out and implement strategies to improve on everything you are doing as a teacher to ultimately benefit all of your students. That's right I was as eager as ever to get out there and do all of the above and I honestly believe I did all of that (and more) to the best of my ability over the past 9 years. Making art every day just is not possible when you devote your time, energy and focus to your students, I know this because I tried it and I ended up tired, stressed and torn. 

The best part of teaching Art is learning from others, inspiring others and being inspired. The exact same thing can be said about being an Artist. 

When I worked up the courage to vocalise my desire to work as an Artist full time, I knew that what would need to follow would be more courage. Courage and discipline.  Courage to ask for time off from teaching, courage to learn how to manage my own finances, courage to attempt to generate my own income and courage to tell people I am working as an artist. These were all things that I knew I would have to do and over the past 6 months I have faced the hurdles of starting a business, staying motivated and defending my choices. I have gained so much and I have overcome many personal fears so far this year. I am extremely grateful for having had this special gift of time to do so. It all seemed so selfish to me in the beginning, as did being an artist. So much in fact I searched for ways to use my time to help others, which I will never regret doing. The lessons learnt from doing only what's important to you are plentiful. 

• I must not worry what others will think
  
• My work is my passion 
  
• Positives MUST outweigh negatives
  
• I own my time
  
• My hair is not important
  
• There are people who energise me 
  
• There are people who drain me
  
• Fears must be faced
  
• I can make my dreams my goals
  
• I can achieve my goals
  

It has been a huge transitional period and as a result it has changed how I view myself and others. How I view my abilities and how I wish to approach and balance two of my passions...making art and teaching art. My next adventure includes finally building my own studio here at my home on Tamborine Mountain to privately showcase my artwork and run small art classes for young and old. This will allow for the public to view my work by appointment and purchase work direct from me. I plan on holding small workshops, creative sessions and personal tutoring for anyone interested as well as other local artists and Art teachers wanting to work collaboratively or simply wanting to share ideas. 

Being an artist is hard, I've said it before and many have said it to me. For this reason many believe it's not worthwhile to become an artist. What I know and can safely say is that one can not become an artist you are simply born an artist. Artists see the world a certain way and have an ability to show others their view through their art. So I am forgetting about becoming anything other than my true self and should that be an 'Artist who can teach' or a 'Teacher that makes art'  I won't allow the boundaries of such titles to define what I am and what I do.  

My long service leave from full time teaching will come to an end in early July and while I won't be returning to full time teaching (only going back part time), I won't have each and every day to myself to paint and focus on building my practice as a business. In all honesty I am actually looking forward to returning to school in July because I really do miss my workmates and my students. I am very lucky to work with some incredible women who I also value very much as friends. They have been a constant support to me in my personal pursuits over the years and I miss their smiles and our daily laughing sessions!

So when I hit the halfway mark of my time off and wrapped up my fundraising efforts for the Leukaemia Foundation, I felt seriously drained of energy and needed to kick start my motor. I spent two weeks painting my newest series of works for my exhibition 'Insight', at D-Bar Gallery in Coolangatta. While I was driving to the gallery to deliver my works I was brainstorming ways that I could really up the ante! Not only for me personally with my production of artwork, but also with sales. I know that success is not measured by money and I also realise that being an artist is tough. Added to this, the economy is not ideal and purchasing artwork is certainly a luxury, but I strongly believe people still want art and value it no less than we value and crave music, film and literature. Unfortunately there are few visual artists treated like rock stars in the main stream media and many everyday people know very little of the happenings in the Australian Art scene. It is something we all must must seek out for ourselves by finding out what galleries exist in our local areas, what exhibition openings are happening (SO MANY...often with complimentary nibbles and drinks. Get on it!) and of course my favourite way of researching....via social media!

But getting back to my point, I am now viewing my practice as a professional and no longer as a hobbyist and my Art is paying my bills. I am proudly referring to myself as an Artist these days, it took a while...but rest assured I have arrived. To be viewed this way I want people to take my art seriously and I want people to understand the value in my work. Artists are not mass-producers of home decor and we are not made of mechanical parts. There is no programme that allows all of a consumer's desires and palette preferences for a desired 'picture' to be entered into an artist's mainframe and then produced within a designated space of time and reproduced in a different colour on demand...for all other interested parties. I do know that many are already aware of this fact, but surely there are some who are not aware...and that's not their fault at all!!! I am just wanting to educate my clients, liker's and potential clients on the value of all ART...not just my own.

To a degree the way in which I paint...which is fast and often...may lead some people to think that I can just do most things they ask for and not charge much for the service. I used to think the same thing about wedding photographers and found myself whinging "Why do they charge so much money when everything is digital these days?" I certainly didn't understand when we looked high and low for a reasonably priced wedding photographer back in 2009. I totally get it now though!

In this day and age so many of us have come accustomed to finding just about everything we need and want can be made possible and delivered to our front door via the internet and PayPal and many other convenient forms of communication technologies. You can text your coffee order to your local cafe to save time waiting on your way to work. It is all so convenient! So why are these photographers and artists charging so much for their services when we are all so budget savvy and willing to search for a better deal.

Well if you ask me I will tell you that the answer is....ART! These so called services are delivered to you largely by people power, artistic vision, emotion, large amounts of unpaid time and personal service. Clients are not treated as general consumers when it comes to professional artists and in return we ask not be treated as wholesale producers and stockists. When you buy an artwork or you pay a photographer to capture special events and faces in your life you are inviting human intelligence and emotion to show you a glimpse of their perspective...this is not calculated and there is no 'How to guide' for seeing things uniquely. What is produced and captured depends so much on the insight of the artist, their personal experience and their ability to see people and show them how much they value their energy and support. It's PURE expression and it cannot always be forced. ART like LIFE is unique, special and unpredictable. This is largely why I have not really set up an online store and also why I am not currently interested in seeking gallery representation. I like dealing with people personally and when you communicate with me,  it is an important part of the whole experience. After all you are taking home a piece of me when you buy my artwork and images.

The solution to my 'Upping the ante' and powering through the rest of my long service leave was making a public promise to produce an artwork every single day. For the month of May these daily expressions would take the form of a bird. Why birds? Well they are quite amazing in my opinion. I envy their ability to fly and feel free. Yet they are vulnerable and certainly not always nice, but this to me makes them more beautiful and despite the fact that there are so many species of birds they all seem to possess wisdom and grace in their common traits...most notably their eyes. Imagine the views they take in and surely take for granted. A view that we often only get close to by boarding an aeroplane or jumping out of one.

So as I arrive at Day 23 of this 31 day challenge (search #birdsofmay on Instagram for all of the highlights so far) I am feeling motivated, proud and completely in the zone. These daily creations have been as big a surprise to me as they have to my devoted liker's and followers tuning into 'My friend can paint' daily to see which bird made the cut each day. I have not been choosing my birds in advance, but rather sitting down each morning and thinking about anything and everything that might give me a clue. Looking through various images of birds has also persuaded my decisions and of course naturally being drawn towards the birds I most admire. Conversations with friends and perhaps a little bit of telepathy with some have also lead me towards certain others. Who knows!! It has been a great little adventure and certainly has helped fund future creations and my creativity. I would definitely suggest to any struggling artists out there (struggling for creativity and motivation that is) to give themselves a 30 day challenge and see where it takes them. Sharing your journey may not be for you and that's just as important to remember. We can choose how much of ourselves we are willing to give away and share, because Art is a very personal thing.